Last night we had a lot of fun at dinner. The conversation was relaxed and funny. I was able to decompress and enjoy the evening. I really appreciate the people who are on this journey with me. I think they are feeling a lot of what I’m feeling and are trying to find time and ways to blow off steam and to process what they are seeing and experiencing. The last couple of days I’ve had some really good conversations with people in our group.
But, today was still pretty difficult – we went to the biggest series of camps of them all – Auschwitz-Birkenau. I didn’t struggle with what I saw and felt as much as I did at Mjdanek and Belzec, but it was still incredibly powerful. I think I put up a bit of a “wall” today because I think subconsciously I didn’t want to be devastated like I have been the last couple of days.
Auschwitz was a Polish army barracks that was taken over by the Germans after their invasion and they turned it into a concentration camp – first for Poles, then for Jews. The barracks are all made out of brick because they were originally Polish army barracks.
The iconic "Work Makes You Free" sign with the brick barracks behind
Later, construction began on a separate camp – a much larger camp that was to be a combination concentration camp and killing center called Auschwitz II or Berkenau. They used bricks from Polish homes they demolished, then they imported pre-fabricated horse stables from Germany to use as barracks for the prisoners so you see both brick structures and the long barracks often associated with concentration camps.
Panorama picture from the top of the large guard tower at Birkenau
We had an amazing tour guide at the camps. We just lucked out to get her in the morning for Auschwitz I and then specifically asked for her to go with us to Auschwitz II – Birkenau. She had some awful and amazing personal stories to tell us at each stop on the tour of the camps.
One story she told us was at the “selection point” on the train tracks in between the men’s and the women’s camps (btw, the selection was held outside the camp until early 1944 when they ran a spur line through the camp. It was easier to process all the Hungarian Jews that were coming in throughout 1944 – Elie Wiesel was one. . . ), and I’ll try and do it justice:
Brought in on trains and waiting in line for the selection there was a mother with her 12 year old son and her very young daughter. At the selection, her son was sent to one line, while she and her daughter were sent to another. The boy wanted to stay with his mother so he ran to the other line to be with her. The mother soon realized that her line would mean death for the boy so she pushed him away from her and tried to get him to go back to the other line. He came back. Again she pushed, and again he came back. Frantically, the mother drove her son away from her trying to give him a chance to live but he misunderstood and thought she wanted him away from her and that she only wanted to be with his sister.
The boy goes to the other line and in a fit of anger turns and yells at his mother, “I hate you, I hope you die.”
Those were the last words he would say to his mother. The boy survived the Holocaust. His mother and his sister didn’t.
This story made me think long and hard about my family and the words we sometimes use. I don’t think we’ve ever gotten to “hate” but some mean things have been said on occasion. I think it’s time for me to work on that a bit and improve how I talk to them, and to others.
The main thing I thought of today on the tour of these camps was scale. The camps - Birkenau especially, are incredibly large. I wasn’t prepared for how big the complex would be. Looking at maps in books doesn’t give you the true scale of the place – it was absolutely unbelievable, but as we walked from one end of the camp to another I got a true appreciation for the size.
Today started out rainy and windy. It was raining pretty hard when we were finishing up with Auschwitz I and then it came down in sheets while we were eating lunch in the bus. But, it lessened when we began our Birkenau tour and soon stopped all-together. I think it set the “mood” perfectly for our visit.
View of the rain from the bus
Just like the physical size of the camps, the exhibits were also on a much larger scale. While we had seen a pile of human hair in the US Holocaust, we saw an entire section of a room piled with human hair. In Washington DC we saw a few brushes, but here we saw an entire room full of them. Everything was on an unimaginable scale here at the actual camp. It was pretty tough to see – especially the room full of prosthetic limbs. . . .
An entire room full of the victims shoes
We are shoes from grandchildren and grandfathers
From Prague, Paris and Amsterdam,
And because we are only made of fabric and leather
And not of blood and flesh,
Each one of us avoided the hellfire
– Moshe Szulsztein, Yiddish Poet
One positive thing I noticed today were the steps in the barracks as we walked from one floor to another to see the displays. They were so worn that they sloped back and almost caused me to slip off the step a time or two. They are so word because of the number of feet that have trod on these steps. I thought that for every 10 pair of feet, maybe one will truly be touched by what they see and try to be a little better to their fellow-men. If so, the museum and the exhibits are doing their job. They have certainly given me some things to seriously think about.
Small memorial on the train tracks. The famous large guard tower is in the background
We spent all day at the two camps and it was nice to get back to the hotel with a whole hour before dinner. But, there was no sitting around for me. I went with a few other people to find a Laundromat so we could clean some of our most offensive clothes. Unfortunately, we walked about a mile – all the way to the river and didn’t find the Laundromat. So, we walked back to the hotel and asked for clarification on the directions. It was in the basement of that shop which is why we missed it. But, there was no time to go out again, so we went to dinner.
Dinner tonight was again delightful. The food was wonderful (I really think the Poles can cook circles around the Israelis and the Germans). We had fried cheese (smoked provolone) with some kind of berry sauce to put on it – it sounds strange, but it was crazy-good! Then we had duck with a blueberry sauce and mashed potatoes – again, very good. Then we had some kind of decadent dessert with apples.
But, the best part was the conversation. Tom, Kerry and I sat with Jessica and some of the other ladies in the group. We had some serious conversation, but we also laughed better than we had in . . . . . I think the whole trip. It was great.
Then, we had another group meeting where Elaine told us about her mother’s experience in Auschwitz and how her mother’s sister had been murdered. She was with another prisoner and they were carrying a large pot of “soup” (little more than hot water) when their wooden clogs slipped on the slick cobblestones. The soup was spilled and the two girls were shot by an SS guard. Elaine’s mother had to carry the body of her sister from her work detail back to the camp. Elaine told us that dead or alive, each prisoner had to be accounted for each and every day.
Her mother had essentially lost the will to live, but an older woman in her barracks befriended her and helped her along. She became her “camp sister” as they were called. This was the relationship that would see her through the 2 years in Auschwitz, the death march in the winter of 1944-45, and her imprisonment in Ravensbruck until liberation. What an amazing story of survival.
After our meeting, we decided to go off and do our laundry despite the late hour. We returned well after midnight, but again there was a lot of laughing, and spirited conversation as we waited for our clothes to dry.
Overall, it’s been a good day. I really struggled over the last couple of days, but I feel much better now.
Tomorrow will be more relaxed – no camps, just Jewish Krakow and Oskar Schindler’s factory. Cool stuff. . . . . J
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